Monthly Archives: September 2012

September – back into it!

This is my ONE Shot at bringing these Dreams to my reality (yes I know, I WILL ‘tick these Goals off’ on November 2nd, but this entire ‘training leadup’ has been very important to me, this is why its affected me so much that I havent been fully capable of achieving what I SO wanted to do).  This one Shot will never come again…and my body has let me down. Yes Im sad about this, and disappointed…Im missing out on the full experience of pushing my body to its limits, because of having to ‘sit back’ for 3 months, while I was sick, and now in recovery….but…am I going to let this ruin the magic of what is going to happen on November 2nd….Hell NO!  I wont deny that Im ‘hanging on’ at the moment, dealing with a whole stack of emotions and the fatigue thats come with my illness/recovery…but I know that come November 2nd, I am going to look back at all of this, and not regret challenging myself in this way, (or whats happened in the process), for one second! 

Despite not being able to push myself extremely hard, to the levels that I KNOW Im capable of…I still know that I have given it my ALL…and THAT is what is important, knowing that despite being ill…Ive hung in there, my body AND mind has held onto the ‘want’ to do this, so fiercely…and Ive done what I can, when I can…

September 4, 2012 – I SO wanted to get to the gym yesterday (3rd September), but with having next to no sleep the night before, and having a bit of a ‘crash’, when I wasnt dealing with all of this very well, I decided to just let myself ‘be in the moment’ and get back into it today.  Which I did.  I woke up and immediately felt the ‘pull’ of the gym, pulling me towards its magic.  I knew that I wasnt going to be able to give full effort…and I was (and still am) disappointed about that)…but I do know that, I gave my ALL, with the work that I did put into my body.  It felt really great to be back at Suncoast Fitness, in that very supportive environment, where everyone who knew whats been going on, rallied around me, it was awesome to feel..

In my session (by myself…I have Mikey tomorrow) I walked 3 x around the walkway on my crutches, did some leg extensions, chest press, and dumbell work….and that was enough for that session.  Disappointed that I just wasnt able to put more into it….but ‘trying to’ be pleased that I actually made it in there.  I need to be more proud of the efforts I do make, especially now…

September 5th, 2012 – Another epic session with Mike…very pleased with my efforts today, despite feeling very disappointed yesterday that I wasnt able to put 100% effort into it.  Im ‘achieving’ at the gym again, and that is awesome! 🙂

September 7th, 2012 – I thought Id head to the gym for another session by myself (part-making up for lost time, part-knowing that I was well on the road to recovery was such a brilliant feeling, I want to now make the absolute most of being healthy again, after all that time of not being able to do much, if anything, at all.  Feeling AWESOMELY motivated now.  8 weeks to go, till the big Day/Night.  8 weeks to go, till I Climb my Mountain, and ‘give back’ to SBH Qld! Wow…

September 8th, 2012 – Saturday afternoon, I thought Id head in for another gym session by myself, after being down at Cotton Tree Park (which is next to the water) in the morning, filling my lungs with nice, fresh, clean healthy air at Laughter Yoga.  About 15 minutes into the session, after some walking, I then realised..ooooh…’maybe this is just a *little* ambitious for your first week back, Tania!’, so I decided not to do weights in this session, just the walking, and some floor work, pushups, planks, weighted-ball work, and some stretching.  Funny thing was, after only 3/4hr of a session, I wasnt disappointed at all (unlike earlier in the week when I was first back and disappointed I couldnt do more).  I knew I had put everything I had into this first week back at training…and THAT is the feeling Id missed SO much, in the 3 months of being sick.  I have ME back….the Me who IS able to give my All! Yeeewww!! 😀

The rest of September passed by in an absolute blur of activity – both physically getting my body ready for the Event….and actually organising the Event!!  I apologise for not updating for every single session of fitness preparation, but I truly have lost true track of time, and what Im doing from one day to the next at the moment… WOW…What an incredible journey this is!..just a little intense, is an understatement!  THIS is Living! 😀

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September….heading towards the Home Straight, to the SBH Qld Event…and to my Dreams!!

September 2nd, 2012 – Today marks TWO MONTHS until my Dreams of Climbing my Mountain, Walking down the Beach with a guy (two guys in my case lol), and Slowdancing with a guy….AND raising money for SBH Qld in the process, at my SBH Qld “I Believe I can Climb” Fundraiser Event.  Wow….absolutely takes my breath away….

I have had a rough three months with my health/chest lurgy/asthma, its been a really intense up-and-down battle, and juggling act, both in my mind, and my body….but tomorrow I plan to get back to the gym, and back into some serious training.  Ive MISSED it like crazy!!  I have to ‘take it easy’ (well, as ‘easy’ as I know how! lol) at first, because of my lungs still not back up to 100%, and my constant coughing still…but, I need to get back into the swing of it…even if ‘gently’ at first.   Ive been quite (ok at times, very!) disappointed in the last few weeks, I feel like my body has let me down again, on the most important, and rewarding journey and challenge Ive ever set myself…this entire Challenge has been based around, and was sparked by the want of me achieving my 3 huge Fitness Goals…and I havent been able to fully enjoy it, because of the stop-start nature of being ill for a fair part of the last three months.  

 Being ill has also got in the way of the ‘organising’ aspect of the Event as well, which has me also feeling ‘behind my game’, which isnt a great feeling.  Dammit…BUT…this is part of what challenging yourself is all about..just going with it, and dealing with whatever comes your way..working through it, past it, and just ‘getting on with it’.  And NOT giving up!  Sure, I expected to enjoy the process towards achieving these Goals to be a whole lot ‘smoother’, and to enjoy it a lot more than I have (I have truely enjoyed it when I can…especially the fitness training side of it, when Ive been able to give my ALL, Im absolutely LOVING IT!)….but, the reward of achieving these Goals on November 2nd, is going to be a WHOLE lot sweeter now, because of the intensity of how my illness has interrupted the journey….its made it even more of a challenge.  Oh Yes, I DO love a challenge! haha..

I’m also going through times where Im fearful of not achieving these Goals, because of how much training I have missed, and how far ‘behind’ I may find my body to be, once I get back into it….but…I AM going to achieve these Goals on November 2nd, no matter what it takes to get me there.  Ive felt that way all along, whatever it takes Im doing it, to achieve it…but Im even more fiercely determined to get there, now!  My Mountain….my Fitness Goals…watch out, coz….here I COME!!

Feeling the pressure…feeling the intensity.  Scared (in an awesome, but sometimes ‘deer in headlights’ way)…excited…nervous…CHALLENGED.  THIS is what living is all about…experiencing and feeling it to the Max!  Onwards and Upwards…and BRING IT ON!! 😀

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